Friendship and other close relationships 10/27/20
I. How was the last 2 weeks?
II. Review of Conversation
Focus of conversation approach for today (from Talk With Me)
Step 1: IDENTIFY TOPIC, then 3 components of conversation:
- TELL A STORY
- MAKE A COMMENT
- ASK A QUESTION
a. Remember that when meeting new people 90% of the conversation is asking questions, always ask a question when done talking
b. Make sure not to talk too long, between 2-5 sentences max.
III. What is the purpose of relationships? What are different kinds of relationships? Why are relationships worthwhile? What are the downsides of relationships?
A PERSON CANNOT AVOID ALL RELATIONSHIP. Yes or No?
IV. The different kinds of relationships (that Ken can think of)
- Purely Transactional- Customer Service
- Lightly professional- The coffee store clerk you see every day
- Medium Professional-Lots of interactions, but only for business
- Heavily Professional- Teacher, Doctor, Counselor, etc. with strict legal/ethical boundaries
- Bureaucrat with direct power- Cop, Judge, etc
- Special Confidant- Confessor, guru, mentor
- Community Relationships- People you volunteer with, participate in politics, go to Church with
- Family-The most intimate relationships you might have, but you don’t get to pick them
- Acquaintance- Someone you hang out or talk to if around/available, you don’t usually seek out this person
- Casual Friendship- Just do things together
- Close Friendship- Someone you can safely share deep stuff with, sometimes roommates (if friends before living together).
- Bound Friendship (rare)- Constant deep friend who you have in someways made family and have financial/legal binding with
- Casual Sexual- No emotion or connection, just sex activity, be with random person or other transactional means
- Loving Sexual- Emotional connection with sex
- Committed physical relationship- Bound relationship with sexual components
- Marriage/Legally bound relationship
V. How to figure out level of relationships (it can be tricky).
Ken’s examples using how we refer (name someone), THIS IS NOT A PERFECT SYSTEM.
VI. How to treat others and act in different relationships
A. What relationships not to personal at all?
B. What relationships to share usual personal stuff with?
C. What relationships to share “deep soul” info with? Who you can tell real secrets too.
D. What may not be things to say/discuss in deep relationships?
VII. How to foster deep relationships, a discussion.
Must have trust to a degree
VIII. Trying to be social in a selfish/individual society…
Final Meeting: Bringing all together.